Crown. Thomas Crown.
Who plays him?
Brosnan. Pierce Brosnan.
You see, I've already succeeded in putting you in a James Bond frame of mind. See how I am?
But that's alright, because that is exactly where I was when I fingered the play button on my VCR remote when I sat down to watch "The Thomas Crown Affair". I mean, you've got Pierce Brosnan in a sharp suit with his sharp accent, so naturally you expect him to "save the world and bed the girl".
Of course, since this isn't a James Bond movie, he has nothing to do with saving the world. The girl on the other hand, falls to his charms a few times.
I guess it's a tip of my hat to Pierce Brosnan as Bond. I guess if the man wasn't such a great James Bond, I wouldn't have been thinking thoughts of 007 as I sat down to watch this. I mean, it's not like I think of James Bond every time I sit down and watch a Connery film. The man is the very spirit of James Bond, yet as an actor capable of so much more.
But anyway, I need to get away from the James Bond references. I don't need you thinking in that direction because this extremely slick and cool movie has nothing to do with him. Any Bond references at this point can just be ignored. Just play along with me on this.
Enter Mr. Thomas Crown, a shrewd businessman so damn rich and powerful that he can buy continents and have them flown to wherever the weather suits him. If you took Bill Gates, gave him a haircut that didn't make him look so much like a fast-food manager, put him in a sharply tailored suit, and gave him an accent that says "don't screw with me, I COULD really be James Bond", and........... well unfortunately you'd still have Bill Gates. But Brosnan as Crown comes across in a very suave manner, a multi-billionaire with the look, the style, and the money, to turn every head in the room.
Unfortunately, the man is also bored out of his mind. I guess you can only have so many mansions and beach houses in exotic ports, fancy sailboats and cars that cost more than sports arenas, and servants waiting to lie down as your human bath mat when you step out of the shower, before the whole thing just starts to seem dull and tedious. Yes, I wanted to slap him as well.
So what does the guy do? He plays the role of a burglar, stealing a priceless Monet from an art exhibit in broad daylight in a well written and amazingly executed scene. He sets a series of events in motion, and just strolls away with this baby. And unlike Bond, he doesn't have a car that turns into a space shuttle, then into a hot tub, then into cork screw, and then back into a car to help him do it. Although he does have a really excellent briefcase.
Enter now the red-hot Rene Russo. Russo works for the insurance company that covers the stolen artwork and gets paired with a frustrated cop played by the always entertaining Denis Leary. Rene is a go-getter, a take-no-crap kind of woman who, much like Crown, has the ability to charm the pants off of just about anyone, and turn every head when she walks into a room. Rene Russo may be in her 40s (and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT), but if you can show me an actress who lights up the screen with more sex appeal and feminine attitude in a film this year than she does in THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR, well lets just say I'll roll up my living room carpet and eat it with maple syrup, and like it.
So does the whole plot of THOMAS CROWN work? Damn straight it does. The film starts with a very cool robbery scene, and finishes up with an AMAZING finish with lots of twists and surprises in the very same museum setting as in the beginning. Aside from that there is very little "action", so don't expect Thomas Crown to battle ninjas in exotic locations, or be pursued in a rickshaw chase scene through Shanghai by evil henchmen throwing razor-brimmed sombreros. So what happens between the two main action sequences? What you get is the meat of the movie, which is an amazing battle of wits and verbal sparring between Brosnan and Russo. With a twinkle of her eye and a slight lift to the corners of her mouth, Rene seizes the upper hand on Brosnan, just in time for him to parry her strike with a suave remark and a playful gaze. Don't ask me which character plays it cooler, they just play off each other nicely and have some amazing screen chemistry. The movie runs along at a pretty decent pace and keeps you guessing and second guessing along the way. You KNOW Crown is the one who stole the painting, and you KNOW that Russo's character knows damn well that he is the one who stole it, but how it all comes together in the end is alone well worth the rental price.
They say confidence is sexy, and I tend to agree with that. I think that's what makes the sex appeal between Brosnan and Russo just so spectacular. Brosnan is smug and cocky, with the money to back it up, and Rene knows what she wants, knows just what to do to get it, and has the goods to make it all happen for her. The fact that their sparring is so playful yet the stakes are so enormously high kept me riveted to the screen, and makes for a phenomenal movie experience. It's just so nice to see an attention to detail and an actual plot. This was also a good role for Brosnan. The role was James Bond-like in many ways which made him a natural for it (do I have to say it again? The man is the epitome of cool), yet not once did they throw in any campy humor or Bond references. I dreaded them showing Brosnan order a drink and have it turn into a 007 joke, and of course they didn't.
In closing, I can't recommend THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR enough. If you are expecting it to be a James Bond movie and go in with that attitude, you may be somewhat disappointed. But if you can sink your teeth into the wonderful dialogue and the matching of wits between these 2 sexy characters, you will come away from this movie loving every bit of it much like I did. I expect great things from Brosnan in the future. Much like Connery I expect him to just get better with age. And if Rene Russo gets any better with age, well lets just say I'll have a hard time sleeping at night.
Until next time, the balcony is condemned.
Dr. Torgo