The Blair Witch Project
Wake up people. It's a movie. How many BLAIR WITCH jokes can you throw into one movie review? The Hair Blair bunch? The Natalie and Tootie Witch Project? The Blair Thornton Witch project, featuring Randy Bachman? Look for the Blair necessities, the simple Blair necessities?

Well, sometimes it's nice to just get them out of the way.

If you haven't figured it out by now, I saw THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT.

The Blair Wicth Project was a little itty bitty independent film (my faves) that was elevated to an almost god-like level of hype. It's a paradox really. On one hand it's just your simple independent film shot in cheapo-vision for the price of a Whopper combo and a side salad, and on the other hand it's a hollywood mega-hit, with a web-site tie-in, and everyone and his brother doing a parody of it in an ad.

So? What the heck is this thing?

The story goes like this..... in 19-whatever, 3 student filmmakers dissapeared near Geezerville Maryland while making a documentary about running around in the dark and screaming until you are dead. Recently their lost footage was discovered, dusted off, viewed, bought by a motion picture corporation, augmented with better sound, hyped, double-hyped, hyped again and then supersized for the hell of it, re-hyped, released to the general public as a movie, and raked in about 7 trillion percent profit.

Along the way, Heather, Josh, and Mike, head out with a borrowed MOVIE camera, a camcorder, a DAT sound recorder, a tent, some wool hats, a cheesy map, and a chip on their shoulders, looking through the woods in search of some footage for a documentary about the BLAIR WITCH, who, as legend has it, is VERY unkind to people who head off into the woods with a borrowed MOVIE camera, a camcorder, a DAT sound recorder, a tent, some wool hats, a cheesy map, and a chip on their shoulders.

First it's day, and it's pretty damn creepy, then it gets dark, and you sit up in your seat, then it gets light again and you see evidence of all the creepy stuff you HEARD during the night, then it gets dark again, and so on. Along the way people scream, and run, and cry, and fight, and walk in circles, and die.

The movie has no music, no special effects, nothing. It is SEEMINGLY a hodgepodge of filmed shots from day to day on their journey, which ends just as abruptly as it begins.

Yet the sheer GENIUS behind TBWP is that this film follows the outline of great movie-making to the letter. It has forshadowing, scenes build upon each other, it has raw human emotions, and they don't ever use the "plot convenience backdoor" meaning, they don't pull something in scene III that wasn't hinted at in scene II. This is movie making at it's BEST!

The entire problem with TBWP is a problem I have with PEOPLE. NOBODY these days can take anything at face value. When it first came out, brave men were scared back into their shriveled foreskins by this movie. It was a sleeper, came out of nowhere, and just blew away audiences who had no idea what to expect. Then the HYPE began, and the movie became (God help us) "Popular". Now it's one person after another saying it's not scary, or it was all hype, or they don't see what the big deal is, yada yada yada.

Can't people base anything on the GUT reaction of how they honestly FEEL anymore? I am waiting for someone to tell me that they thought the book was better at this point.

The key to watching this movie and loving it is all in tuning out EVERYTHING and either pretending that it REALLY IS footage that was found in the woods (trust me all you people still holding onto this, IT'S A MOVIE. If it was just real footage, it would have been a FOX special and not a major theatrical release) or just turning down the lights, turning up the sound, sitting back and letting the subtlties of the movie work their charm.

I give THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT a very enthusiastic 3 appendages WAY up. Say what you will about it, it's like nothing that has ever been done before, and will probably be imitated by everyone. They don't often do that with something unless it's very special. Ignore the hype, just open your mind a little and get the living crap scared out of ya.

Until next time, the balcony is condemned.

Dr. Torgo



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