I've been a fan of Star Trek since I was about 3 years old. Let me rephrase that. I mean, I'm sure there are many 5 and 7 year olds that have been Star Trek fans since they were 3 years old too. But at nearly 40 years old (the horror..... the horror......) the series and I have been friends for a lifetime. Oh sure, I used to call it "Star Track", and I also used to refer to Spock as "Potato Chip Ears", but I was a fan all the same, and each week I'd be there in my footy-pajamas, eyes wide with wonder, ready to be swept off to fantastic places at warp speed.
No, I am not making this stuff up. Go ask my sister. Her number's in the book.
Having been raised on Klingons, Tribbles, and the occasional Vulcan neck pinch (a note to kids, don't try this on your mother, it makes them angry), and having followed many incarnations of Star Trek from beginning to end, I was barely able to contain my encroaching moisture at the thought of a tenth, and possibly final, Star Trek adventure hitting the big screen like a ceremonial Klingon head-butt. Flashy previews teased my brain, and I did what any other casual fan of the series would have done......
That's right. I took a half day off from work on it's opening day, parked outside the local Mega-Mondo-Plex, watched for the grand unlocking of the doors, and then pushed and shoved my way past everyone to the ticket window yelling "Star Trek! Star Trek!", a little bit of saliva hanging on my slack lips.
Hey, it's not the 24th century yet, and I am still entitled to be a 21st century savage.
And so, slumping in my seat and breaking my vow of never eating sugar again (it makes me grouchy. It DOES! Oh, screw you!!!!) with a four dollar box of Sno-Caps, I waited for "Star Trek: Nemesis" to make me squeal in delight.
And squeal I did. Oh how I squealed.
Being an even numbered Star Trek film at number ten (ask any Trek fan about the film "number curse") I knew that the film would be a big improvement over 1998's "Insurrection" (not a bad film, but easily the weakest of the Next Generation films). The story goes something like this- The crew of the Enterprise, having been together through thick and thin, are going their separate ways. Data wants to go and become a high-energy prop-comic, Captain Picard marries Guinan after getting her pregnant, and Geordi La Forge re-animates the dead corpses of Creedence Clearwater Revival and embarks on a reunion tour. Actually, that whole last sentence was complete hogwash. None of those things happen. But for the sake of not spoiling some wonderful opening moments, I really can't tell you what the crew members are headed off to do. But they ARE going their separate ways all the same. But before they can depart for good, the Enterprise is sent to the Romulan neutral zone to meet the new leader of the Romulan Empire, a human (that's right, a HUMAN) named Shinzon, played brilliantly by a talented young Tom Hardy. As usual, nothing goes wrong, and the Enterprise is in no way caught up in a tangled web of plans to obliterate Starfleet, and nobody fires any phasers or photons upon a vulnerable Enterprise, and nobody's ship gets blown apart in a million dollar pyrotechnic shot.
But of course, all of those things pretty much happen.
And that's both the good AND the bad with Star Trek- it's a comfortable pair of pants that you just can't bear to thrown in destiny's final hamper. With the exception of a few big surprises, we know what CAN and CANNOT happen. The story must fit into the natural logic of the Star Trek universe, and can't deviate too much from Gene Roddenberry's time honored formula. In all these ways, Star Trek: Nemesis is exactly what you'd expect in a Star Trek movie. The framework of the story leans heavily upon ideas borrowed from both "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" and "Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country", but we don't mind because they are both, if you'll excuse my French, the cat's ass. In "The Undiscovered Country", the ongoing missions of the original crew ended with a major disruption in the Klingon Empire, changing the face of the universe forever and finds Starfleet trying to learn to live in this new age. The NEMESIS story is just that same idea, twisted to be centered around the Star Trek universe's favorite dickweeds, those scummy-ass Romulans. Again...... comfortable pants.
Star Trek films might be intimidating for those who are not familiar with the cast of the show and the previous films, as the film contains many inside references that will be lost on those sitting through a Star Trek adventure for the first time. Still, for those of us familiar with these people, this film does breathe some new life into their characters. A good example of this is the way Marina Sirtis as ship's Counselor Deanna Troi is handled in this film. In previous incarnations she seemed nothing more than a prop (but one that is easy on the eyes. I've always been a pushover for the way her Starfleet uniform fits), and the fact that she is an Empath was barely utilized in the films. In NEMESIS, this aspect of her character is explored more deeply, and works nicely in the story. This also gives Marina the honor of uttering the single greatest line in the film during a pulse-pounding moment, which she delivers with perfection.
The other big star of the film would have to be the tactical Starship battles. These scenes are easily the best ever to bear the Star Trek logo, dare I say even BETTER than The Wrath of Khan, with excitement and action around every corner. The first half of the film, while peppered with some action scenes, relies heavily upon setting up the storyline through dialogue. Once the framework has been set and events are set into motion, the second half of the film is a white-knuckle ride of battle scenes between the Enterprise and Shinzon's vessel, with many other surprises thrown into the mix.
My biggest complaint of the film is a fine example of nit-picking, but by seeing this film on opening day, I am doomed to be reminded of it each time I see a preview over the next few weeks. Once again, they show us something really amazing and just wonderfully cool in the film trailer........ and it is not in the film!!! This always sends me into a chair-kicking, popcorn-bucket-throwing rage, especially since the scene in question could EASILY have been worked into an important subplot of the film and would have made the climactic ending of the film twice as powerful. With the film's trailer etched in my mind, and waiting for that scene to materialize as I pieced together the story, I was somewhat disappointed when it never happened. There are so many visual delights in this film, why must they us something in a preview that didn't make the final cut? Nit-picking, I know, but that is what makes Star Trek fans such nutty creatures.
Star Trek: Nemesis, is easily the best of the Next Generation films. The sad part is, this series of films is going to do just what the show did, end just as it they were really getting it to work. The tagline of the film is "A Generation's Final Journey... Begins", which could suggest that this is the final film, but if taken a different way could suggest that there is yet more to come. By the end of the film many characters have gone through some life-altering experiences, but the final frame leaves things able to go in either direction. It would serve as a nice final adventure for the Next Generation cast, but further adventures could quite easily be built off the ending of the film. I hope to see what wonderful things they might do with Star Trek 12 (Let's face it, if there is an 11, "the curse" will not let it be quite as good as NEMESIS turned out), and as long as there is a Star Trek universe, this overgrown kid who once watched to laugh at Spock's ears will be in the front row once again on opening day.
Ok, maybe not the front row. That's where all the scary Trekkies sit.
Until next time, it is only logical that the balcony remain condemned.
Dr. Torgo