Six Degrees to the Dark Side

On the planet of Coruscant, the Jedi Council waits nervously in their chambers for young Anakin Skywalker to be introduced to them. A somber and somewhat embarrassed Mace Windu fidgets nervously with the hems of his robes, as an angry Yoda glares at him with barely contained annoyance. After several moments of awkward silence, Mace Windu speaks to Yoda........

Mace Windu: "I am sorry, my Master. I...... uh....... I panicked."

Yoda: "Panicked, did you? Most interesting, this is."

Mace Windu: "I had to say SOMETHING........ he wouldn't leave!"

Yoda: "A kid running around here, you want? Hmmmm? Crying and tantrums, you want to hear? Loud music and indifference, you want to look forward to in a few years!? Yes!?"

Mace Windu: "I........ uh...... I assumed that talking to the boy couldn't hurt."

Yoda: (sigh) "BRILLIANT, is your intellect. HEAVY, is my sarcasm."

Mace Windu winces.

Yoda: "I will handle this matter. Even now, the boy arrives."

The doors swing open and a confused looking Anakin Skywalker enters the room. He walks into the center of the room and stands nervously, as the faces of the Jedi Council members study him.

Yoda: "How feel you?"

Anakin: "Cold sir."

Yoda: "Afraid, are you?"

Anakin: "No sir."

Yoda: "See through you, we can."

Anakin glances around nervously.

Yoda: "You are afraid of losing your mother, I think. Hmmmm?"

Anakin: "What has that got to do with anything?"

Yoda: "Everything! Fear is the path to the Dark Side! Fear leads to anger..... anger leads to hate........ hate leads to suffering! (sigh) I sense much fear in you."

Anakin: "Can I go now, sir?"

Yoda: "Impatient, are you!? Impatience leads to frustration..... frustration leads to anger....... anger leads to hate......... hate leads to suffering! (sigh) I sense much impatience in you."

Anakin: "But sir, I haven't eaten since we left Tatooine."

Yoda: "Hungry, are you? Hunger leads to frustration.......... frustration leads to anger..... anger leads to hate......... hate leads to suffering! (sigh) I sense much hunger in you."

Anakin: "But EVERYONE gets hungry! You just don't want me to be a Jedi!"

Yoda: "Sass me not, young Skywalker! Sassing leads to beatings....... beatings lead to resentment........ resentment leads to frustration........ frustration leads to anger.......... anger leads to............"

Anakin: "Screw this. I'm going back to peeking into the Queen's shower."

Anakin turns and stomps defiantly towards the door. Yoda yells after him as he leaves.....

Yoda: "Lust! Knew it, I did!!!! Lust leads to self-pleasure!! Self-pleasure leads to guilt!! Guilt leads to frustration! FRUSTRATION LEADS TO ANGER! ANGER LEADS................."

Anakin slams the door behind him. The Jedi Council is silent for a few minutes until Mace Windu speaks up.....

Mace Windu: "You handled that well."

Yoda (obviously quite pleased with himself): "Nothing, it was."

Dr. Torgo

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