This is not a film review. Let's get that idea right out of your head before we even begin.

This is an experiment, an ink blot test if you will. Everyone's end results will vary. There is no pass, there is no fail. There is only that you take part in the test.

Please turn over your papers and begin at this time.

CASINO ROYALE

-OR-

How I stopped worrying and learned to love the Bond.

Part 1- Overview and Rules.

Once upon a time there was a man who had needed killing. We all know this man.
Once upon another time there was a woman with information. We've met her before.

These two items may be interchanged in any way to suit your particular philosophy. Any keyword may be swapped for another. Again, there is no pass or fail, only that you participate.

Our story begins.

Please let me introduce you at this time to the ultimate Civil Servant, James Bond. Ah, I see you've already met him. Superb.

Therefore I won't go into the details of who this man is. You ask why, and I like that you are the curious type. Alas, the WHY would be because we already know this man. As Chris Cornell sings during the film's opening theme “You know my name”. Indeed, we do. We also know that you like your martinis shaken, and your women stirred (vigorously and often). We know more about you than you know about yourself, Mr. Bond.

For those of you paying attention you may have already figured out that the collective audience watching “Casino Royale” *IS* the man who needed killing, or the woman with information. Again, these keywords can be swapped to your own particular liking or reality.

I see some of you are still confused. This is quite unfortunate, but expected. Please move to the rear of the classroom and try not to disturb the others. You may fart around with your silly phones if you like, but please do it quietly.

Part 2- The Butcher's Case.

And then there was Daniel Craig, and slab of well trimmed brisket stepping into the role of the civil servant. The term “new Bond” has been uttered and heard throughout the world for 40 years now, but in every other instance it hasn't been a literal term, until now. Am I saying that Daniel Craig is the BEST Bond? Well, I have already stated our rules, for those who were paying attention. There is no pass or fail here, only that you participate. But I will go on record to say that Daniel Craig is truly the first “new Bond”. Each incarnation passes the torch. Each generation carries on the seed. Daniel Craig is changing that.

And so we have the new world of Bond, which is the old world of Bond. In so many ways, nothing has changed here at all. The women still queue up in cordon-roped mazes, and are willing to wait long hours for a chance to remove their clothing and hurl themselves at the man. Bad men with bombs, guns and implements of destruction still leap around corners and pounce on him with the intention of causing him bodily harm. His bosses still get frustrated as he shrugs off their authority with cocky derision. He's still never taken a defensive driving course.

So what makes Daniel Craig anything but a cookie-cutter variation on a theme? Why is he so NOT the Britney Aguilera-Simpson of the world of Bond?

After 40 years (and that's just in film alone, let alone books, radio, and television), the Bond universe has had a blinding sun placed in the middle of it, a sun that shines into every crevice and corner, leaving not a single nook or cranny a mystery. That's the universe as we have created it. Now enter Craig, a rookie civil servant with a hungry mind, itchy trigger finger, and dark blinders over his eyes. As he walks though this universe (or runs, or jumps, or fights, or screws…….) he can't quite see the big picture….. yet. He is naïve, he makes BIG mistakes, and he isn't afraid to get his hands dirty to learn something new. We, the audience, know what lurks around each and every corner he turns, even if he himself doesn't quite know yet what is happening.

He is Bambi with a gun.

Part 3- Nuts and Bolts, and the Occasional Washer.

Let's take a break from our seats and walk around a bit in the Bond universe and see what we can find. A sort of cinematic scavenger hunt, if you will. It will be very informal. Feel free to get a snack at this point.

Checklist:

Hot Babes: There are three that I spotted in the film. I'll call them, for argument's sake, 8, 9, and 6. Again, these numbers may be swapped to your own liking. There is no pass or fail here. Those of you who know my personal taste will be able to apply these numbers accurately to it. Hint- Dark eyed brunettes score double, always.

Reoccurring Characters: “M”, played by Judi Dench, and Felix Leiter, played by Jeffrey Wright. Again, these characters are well within the audience's all-revealing spotlight, yet still cloudy to our new Bond in the woods. We are God. He is Bambi.

Opening Title Sequence/Animations: Nicely done, as they seem purposely created to look slightly dated, yet brand-spanking new. This sequence could be an analogy for the entire film. Kudos to the students who spotted this.

Villains: These are toned down a bit from previous incarnations. There is no underground fortress containing a giggling madman with a cat bent on world domination. There is no scene featuring the obligatory “Here is the conveniently placed red button that will stop everything I am trying to do, Mr. Bond. Please don't press it when my back is turned”. They are merely well tailored assholes, and greedy ones at that.

Toy and Gadget Introduction Scene, featuring “Q”: This is one item we cannot check off our scavenger hunt checklist. The character of “Q”, previously played by Desmond Llewelyn and later by John Cleese, is absent from the film. Would this time-honored sequence have fit into the latest Bond film? Well, remember our rules- the NEW universe is the OLD universe, and there is no pass or fail.

This concludes our brief tour.

I notice some of us went to get a snack during our little walk and did not return. A shame, but not unexpected, to say the least. If the rest of us could find our seats, we will wrap things up, as it's too nice of a day outside to spend all of it in the classroom.

Part 4- Double Helix.

Remember, we are the man who needed killing, and the woman with information.

Casino Royale marks a completely new direction for the franchise, as we have never seen before. So, would it be fair to say that Casino Royale works better for a new, cinematically young audience than the rest of us?

No.

Why? Well, the makers of Casino Royale are playing God. The mortar and concrete of this universe is now set and hardened, a completed work if you will. We can see the entire world, and we know its secrets, its rules, and its physics. The Bond franchise has finally become cyclical, and all we can do is drop our young lad into the world and let him make his own choices and see how he fares. He doesn't know all the rules and secrets and physics of his world yet, and he has to make some bad choices so that he may learn valuable lessons and evolve. In a sense, we, the audience, are the architects of this world, and we have all had a hand in its evolution over 40 years. Therefore we are omniscient, and we already know all possible outcomes.

All we can do is watch.

Class dismissed. Would the last one out please turn off the lights.
Dr. Torgo